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Boyd Cooper
'''Boyd Cooper is the clinically insane security guard of The Asylum. Raz encounters him when he first arrives at the Asylum. He is mumbling conspiracy theories to himself, and writing on the walls in cryptic code, mathematics, and conspiratorial pictures. Background Before becoming a security guard for the Asylum, Boyd was apparently a security guard at a department store called "Hernando's". One day, he was fired (the title of the memory implying that this is the latest in a string of lost jobs). He went into a rage and burned down the department store with Molotov cocktails (fashioned from empty milk bottles) and was sent to the Asylum. While there, he was hypnotized by Coach Oleander, who implanted subconscious orders into Boyd's mind. After the hypnosis, Coach Oleander appointed Boyd as the guard. The Milkman The Milkman is Boyd's alter-ego. In Boyd's mind (The Milkman Conspiracy), The Milkman is apparently dead although Boyd and the G-men do not believe it. When Raz eventually finds the body of The Milkman he is forced to battle the Den Mother, who has apparently been guarding it. When she is defeated, The Milkman awakes, taking control of Boyd in the real world. Dressed similarly to Boyd in real life, although in white, the Milkman will not rest until he completes his final delivery. The Milkman is actually a personality implanted by Oleander to destroy the insane asylum, erasing any evidence of what went on there. He accomplishes this using a molotov cocktail made from a milk bottle. After burning the Establishment (read: Asylum), Boyd returns to "normal", which is apparently a fairly ordinary, if slightly sycophantic, middle-aged man. The figments and subconscious orders Coach Oleander planted in Boyd's mind (including the G-Men, the Rainbow Squirts, and the Milk Man) leave after he has completed his task, whereupon Boyd says "The Milkman has completed his route.", much to the confusion of Fred, Gloria, and Edgar. After that, he casually turns to the three and asks if they want to split for a cab. Boyd's Mind Main Article: The Milkman Conspiracy While in Boyd's Mind, he will ramble on about a lot of different conspiracies, below is a list of some of his quotes. ''Quotes'' ''Outside the Aslyum Gates'' "I'm the guard, I've been fully trained." "I'll bet he's sleeping on the job, ''his milk is delicious, everyone wants it. 'He'll be here soon, and the lies will end."'' "Gah! Not another tracking device!" '' ''"Had everyone fooled!" '' ''"Are telling my location to..." "Sorry, the Milkman has the key, I am not the Milkman, I"m the guard!" "Huh?! Who are you working for?! '' ''"The what? That dosen't fit in! That dosen't fit in at all! Maybe I've got this all wrong!" ''Inside Boyd's Mind'' "Burned up in a department store fire, didn't you hear? At least, that's what the media, would have you believe. Is he dead or not?" "Be careful, they're watching, all the time!" "It's perfect, isn't it?" '' ''"Almost complete, just a few missing pieces." "But it's ALL about the Milkman!" "You know my house is clean, right? Right boss?! "L-Like I don't know that they..." "Why does that hydrant keep looking at me?!" "G-man! Who you working for?! Who is G?" '' ''"The Cows!" "In order to monopilize..." '' ''"The band manager..." "The Squirrels, have EYES!" '' ''"Oh, you think that's regular yarn, do you?!" "Y-You think you can get this past me?! I'm the guard!" '' ''"This is ugly, it's like a cyclops, with a million eyes!" "Someone has to get this information to the people!" '' ''"Those eggheads in their ivory tower" '' ''"I thought you worked for me!" '' ''"Who are merely the pawns of..." '' "''The truth is sleeping in a glass box." '' ''"And if they find out if I know this stuff, I'm dead!" '' ''"They think the windows are tinted, but they aren't tinted NEARLY enough!" '' ''"Wait" ''(In between conspiracies) ''"The fire will start in men's wear!" '' ''"Ate a whole jar of olives, with uh.." '' ''"As sure as the nose on my face, I am sure they..." '' ''"How long do they think they can hide that?!" '' ''"The Psycho...what's its...?" ''"Something's got to give.'"'' "Oh man, this stuff is hot." "All in a big fight over..." '' ''"Last speciman of the super virus!" "Someone moved into my neighborhood, uninvitied!" "Have been fixing oil prices!" '' ''"Of course! The milk's got spiderwebs in it! Taste it!" "And he waits, and he waits..." "They have been spitting on me all day!" '' ''"I mean, who do they think they're fooling?!" "I see myself more as a turtle, with a rocket strapped to it's back!" '' ''"Can I really be the only person who see's this?!" "The national park system!" '' ''"All those stupid crows!" "If I know anything, I know that they..." "Got in bed with..." "Hey, where's the boss?" "My first cat... Seymour." "My hooch!" '' ''"In conjunction with..." '' "''And then it comes out of those wires over there, and goes straight into my head, with all it's little audio tricks!" "Ok, ok." *Take note that some of these phrases may be part of random conspiracies. Trivia *Boyd's ramblings are the result of a program that randomly assembles phrases, which means that he is very unlikely to say the same thing twice in a row. *Boyd's voice actour, Alan Blumenfeld, also voices Glottis in Grim Fandango, another game by Tim Schafer. *Using Clairvoyance on Boyd as the Milkman shows Raz as a milk bottle with a head. *While rambling, Boyd may occasionally reference "the little fat kid with the bunny", foreshadowing the final level, Meat Circus. *It should be noted that unlike with Fred, Gloria and Edgar, Raz exploring Cooper's mind does not cure him of his insanity/paranoia in any way; it simply triggers his alter ego, The Milkman. *When Boyd is hit with a confusion grenade (obtained by cheating) before the Milkman Conspiracy is completed, he temporarily comes to his senses and says this quote: **"Wait a minute, I think there may not be a conspiracy after all. It's possible that I am suffering from paranoil delusions, linked to an entity I call 'The Milkman' who is in actuallity... ''('confusion wears off) The mummified remains of Abraham Lincoln!" tumblr_miherrF52r1rhhn7to1_1280.jpg tumblr_mihdz563D41rhhn7to2_1280.jpg ' Category:Characters Category:Asylum patients Category:Adults